Pre-Maori Celtic settlers invented Rock and Roll, say author

Amateur historian Martin Doutre has discovered a series of rocks in the far north, which he says proves that a pre-Maori Celtic people invented Rock and Roll, a genre of music previously thought to have originated in America. Doutre says the rocks were arranged in a way that suggested 4/4 timing and therefore could only be evidence of the invention of Rock and Roll by a mysterious Celtic civilzation. “They invented Rock and Roll before the existence of guitars which says a lot about how smart these people were. They were really smart. Basically when you measure the distance between the rocks, keeping in mind that there are 4 formations each containing 4 rocks, 4 metres apart, it’s natural that this would symbolise 4/4 timing, and therefore, Rock and Roll. Understand? Rocks…4/4 timing… It totally disproves what politically correct historians and Marxist music academics have been saying, which is that Rock and Roll was invented by African American musicians.” Doutre himself says he doesn’t listen to much Rock and Roll, though he does like the “steady beat” of the Jive Bunny. “What people don’t know about about the Jive Bunny, is that that he’s a real bunny…and that he may very well have invented DJ culture. That’s my current research interest.”